Sermon - Training Children for Wise Living

Training Children for Wise Living

Mothers Day 2008

11/05/08

Proverbs 23:24-25

“…parents who have wise children are glad because of them.

Make your father and mother happy;

give your mother a reason to be glad.”

What is it about your children that you take great pleasure in?

Sometimes it’s because of the funny things they say and do. Here’s some absentee notes that may have been written by parents, but I suspect that most were written by kids…

• Dear school, please accuse John from being absent on January 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, and also 33.
• Mary could not come to school because she was bothered by very close veins.
• My son is under the doctor's care and should not take fiz ed. Please execute him.

Sometimes their funny adventures are also a bit hair-raising. Like learning to drive…(o/h)

but anything kids can do their dads can do better!

I love watching my kids enjoying themselves – Tim loves telling stories and Alyssa loves dancing

I love it when my kids want to connect with me – when Josiah studies my face wondering what on Earth this big fella is saying.

I love watching my kids develop and discover new things.

I love seeing them do the things that we are training them to do, like using good manners or remembering to stop and look before crossing the road.

I love watching them sleep. Every night I go in and give them a kiss and a prayer. I can feel my heart swell when I look at them sleep – it’s like an overflowing of love and tenderness for them.

If you are ever going through a rough patch with a child and they live at home, my advice is to go and watch them sleeping and talk to them softly. The problem behaviours and attitudes won’t be blocking your view, you will just see your child. Sometimes our hearts need to be refreshed by that view. Sometimes it’s easier to let go of anger or stubbornness when we see our child with fresh eyes.

This saying from Proverbs 23 is one that I have discovered to be true in my own life both as a child and as a parent. As a child I have heard the pleasure in my mother’s voice when she has commented on some positive behaviour or attitude. I have seen the respect in my father’s eyes and heard it in his tone when he has been pleased with the character I have shown. On the other hand I have also seen and heard the disappointment or even anger when I have been selfish or wilfully foolish.

As a parent I have also experienced these things from the other side. I think we all know the range of emotions you experience as a parent when you see how your children are living, no matter how old they are.

All of us want to see our children living well. We want to see them treating others as they would like to be treated. We want to see them grow in good character, learning the value of honesty, truthfulness, gentleness, respect, generosity, patience, self-control and so on.

We want to see our children happy. We don’t want them to ruin their chances at happiness by making foolish decisions. We don’t want to see them stuck in bad habits that control their lives.

There’s another piece of ancient wisdom from the Bible that talks about this…

Proverbs 22:6

Teach children how they should live, and they will remember it all their lives.

We cannot control what will happen to our children or how they will turn out.

However we can influence these things.

Parents are the most important influences in a child’s life. When a parent consistently and lovingly trains a child in living well, it makes a profound difference in that child’s future.

Training our children is not the responsibility of schools, day-care centres, babysitters, churches, relatives or friends – it is our job as parents. Of course all of those things can be a great help. Last week I saw a bit of the work the year 6/7 class was doing on dealing with difficult emotions, and it was excellent. However, the responsibility for training our children to live well is ours.

The issue of how to train children to live well is a big one, and I’m not going to cover it today. For today it’s enough just to invite you to challenge yourself to step up to that challenge, and if you’d like to talk more about it I can do that with you or recommend some good resources for you.

I want to close with one more piece of ancient wisdom from the Bible…

Proverbs 3:12

The Lord corrects those he loves,

just as parents correct the child they delight in.

We talked earlier about the range of emotions that we experience as parents as we watch our children and relate to them.

This verse is just one of many that describe God as being like a parent. The Bible says that God created people in His own image, and so the range of emotions that we experience as parents in many ways reflect what God is like.

It is true that we do not reflect God perfectly. We cannot love as purely or as strongly as God does. God is not hampered by the character flaws that we have – the selfishness or laziness or lack of wisdom that we struggle with sometimes.

But I want you to reflect on the love for your children that you have when you watch them sleeping; the desire you have to help them grow up to live well; your love of spending time with them; the pride that you take in them and your joy when you see their happiness; and I want you to realise that these are things that God feels toward you and I.

So go and study your children in bed, or look at some photo’s of special times that you’ve had with them, and remember that what you feel toward them is just a shadow of what God feels toward you. Maybe that will affect what you feel toward Him too.