Too much responsibility!

Ever felt like you carry too much responisibility? Feel like you've got too many people wanting too many different things from you and you know that you can't possibly keep them all happy?

Sometimes the weight of responsibilities and expectations can be crushing. It's been a bit like that this week. At the moment I feel the weight of the pastoral needs of my church family, the leadership needs, the administration needs, the needs of some community groups I'm involved in have been a huge issue over the last couple of weeks, then there's the needs of my children, my wife, friends... myself. It seems that wherever I look there are problems that demand my attention.

Sometimes the weight of responsibilities and expectations can be debilitating - it can cause you to do less not more. It plays on your mind and disrupts your sleep (at least it does to me!), so that you are less effective and creative because of mental & physical weariness.

It occurred to me last night that all week I'd been running around trying to do all that needed to be done, fixing problems and living up to my "responsibilities". What I'd actually done was neglected the most important things in favour of the noisy and the urgent. There are things that I felt needed to be done early in the week that hadn't been done because "stuff" came up that got in the way. I felt like I didn't have a choice, but I did.

Sometimes we do have to say no to people (including ourselves). We need to set good boundaries so that we are able to stick to our convictions about what God would have us do instead of what our circumstances or other people want us to do. We need to do this lovingly so that people know we genuinely care for them and their needs, but that we are not controlled by them. Ultimately, this allows us to develop healthy lives and ministries; instead of winding up as stressed-out people pleasers - who usually end up bitter & frustrated as well because in the end they couldn't please everyone anyway!

There's a lot more that can be said on this topic, but enough for now - I've got too many other jobs to get on to ;-)

Being a Person God Uses Part 2

How to Be a Person God Uses Pt 2

1 Thessalonians 2:6b-12

18/03/07

Introduction

Last week we started thinking about How we can be the sort of people God uses. In other words, how you and I can be competent servants of God.

Have you ever felt incompetent?

(slideshow + audio)

While some of these clips were pretty amusing, I’m sure we all realise how important it is to be a competent person when you are in charge of a vehicle. When people are incompetent because of a lack of training, poor reflexes, lack of attention, medical conditions or substance abuse; there can be some very serious and tragic consequences. Before anyone takes charge of a vehicle, they should be certain that they are competent to do so.

In the Church a similar principle applies in the area of leadership. In our culture the privilege of driving is subject to a whole series of tests to insure competence. There are also rules of conduct that must be adhered to. If a person is caught breaking those rules then there are penalties that apply. The same is true in terms of leadership within the church. There are standards that determine a person’s eligibility to lead. There are rules that govern how that leadership is exercised, and there are penalties that apply when leaders step outside of what God has set out for them to do.

In 1 Thessalonians chapter 2 the Apostle Paul is briefly outlining some of the characteristics that made Silas, Timothy and himself competent ministers in the Church. Paul and Silas in particular are recognised leaders, and Timothy is in the process of being trained in leadership. This leadership is exercised in teaching, nurturing and ruling over the various churches they establish.

So today we will continue to learn about how we can be competent ministers, regardless of what type of ministry God has called us to; and we will also learn more about the ministry of leadership within the Church.

Pray

There are a number of passages in the Bible which talk about the qualifications necessary for leaders within the Church. Here’s a quick summary:

Characteristic	Reference
Self controlled	1 Tim 3:2; Titus 1:8
Hospitable	1 Tim 3:2; Titus 1:8
Able to teach	1 Tim 3:2, 5:17; Titus 1:9
Gentle	1 Tim 3:3; Titus 1:7
Not quarrelsome	1 Tim 3:3
Not a lover of money	1 Tim 3:3
Has a good reputation in the community	1 Tim 3:7
Not overbearing	Titus 1:7
Not quick-tempered	Titus 1:7
Loves what is good	Titus 1:8
Upright, holy	Titus 1:8
Disciplined	Titus 1:8
Blameless	1 Tim 3:2,9; Titus 1:6
Faithful in marriage	1 Tim 3:2,12; Titus 1:7
Temperate	1 Tim 3:2,8; Titus 1:7
Respectable	1 Tim 3:2,8
Not given to drunkenness	1 Tim 3:3,8; Titus 1:7
Manages his household well	1 Tim 3:4,12
Respected by his children	1 Tim 3:4-5,12; Titus 1:6
Doesn’t pursue dishonest gain	1 Tim 3:8; Titus 1:7
Keeps hold of the deep truths	1 Tim 3:9; Titus 1:9
Sincere	1 Tim 3:8
Not a recent convert	1 Tim 3:6
Someone who has been tested	1 Tim 3:10

I hope what you will realise as you look at this list is that these are characteristics that we should all aspire to. These qualifications are a way of identifying mature Christians who are ready to accept the responsibility of leadership. Even the ability to teach, which is a requirement of Elders in the Church, does not mean that each Elder must have a gift in teaching, just that they have the spiritual maturity to be able to teach others in what they say and in how they live.

The reason I point this out is that I want all of us to be aware that what we discover today about how Paul approaches his ministry of spiritual leadership is relevant to all of us. It is what we should all be aspiring to. I hope that this will become increasingly clear as we go through our passage.

Read: 1 Thessalonians 2:6b-12

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, ^7 but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children. ^8 We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. ^9 Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.

^10 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed. ^11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, ^12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory.

As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you,

Because of his position of leadership Paul could have exercised his rights and the authority of his position. He could have expected to have his material needs met by the church. He could have expected that people defer to him and show appropriate respect. As he served them in teaching and nurturing he could expect that they would serve him in return in more practical ways.

Have you ever been in a position where you felt entitled to something from others? I know of people who have given generously to a church over many years, who have felt entitled to control what the church does with it’s finances. I know people who have served in leadership, who have felt entitled to the blind trust and obedience of the congregation; without consultation or explanation of decision making. I know of worship leaders who felt entitled to only choose material that suited their own tastes. I know of pastors who expect their congregation to put in volunteer hours to the church, while they stick rigorously to a 40 hour week.

Paul says “We could have felt entitled to something from you. We could have expected something on the basis of our position and authority, but instead….”

but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

The first thing Paul points out is that he and his companions are not on a power trip. They are not seeking their own advantage, instead they care for the church like a mother cares for her infant children.

Now, Paul is not picturing himself as this sort of mother… (o/h)

Instead, the picture is of a nursing mother – a mother who is still breastfeeding her child. That tenderness that exists between mother and child is the tenderness that Paul felt for the Thessalonians.

Now, we all know that the Church would be a great thing if it weren’t for the people in it! Christians, just like anyone else, can be hard to get along with at times. We hurt each other, we sin against each other. Anyone involved in leadership knows that it can be very painful and frustrating. I believe the same can be true of breastfeeding! However when you think about how a nursing mother treats even the most difficult child, even at great personal cost; that’s the picture that Paul has of leadership. When you think of the bond between mother and child, that’s the relationship between leaders and their congregations that Paul has in mind.

This image is extended in verses 11&12 to include fatherhood.

^11 For you know that we dealt with each of you as a father deals with his own children, ^12 encouraging, comforting and urging you to live lives worthy of God, who calls you into his kingdom and glory

I have a picture on my computer which is a great illustration of this (o/h)

You can see by that man’s uniform that he has a certain authority. He has authority as a Policeman and as a father. Yet he uses his position to serve the needs of his son. You can see by his haircut that he needs to wear that policeman’s hat! ( I can identify with that!) But instead he uses it to serve his son. In the same way Paul used his position not for his own purposes but for the purpose of serving those he was responsible to lead.

This is how the Apostle Peter describes this principle of servant leadership in 1 Peter 5:1-6

To the elders among you, I appeal as a fellow elder, a witness of Christ’s sufferings and one who also will share in the glory to be revealed: ^2 Be shepherds of God’s flock that is under your care, serving as overseers—not because you must, but because you are willing, as God wants you to be; not greedy for money, but eager to serve; ^3 not lording it over those entrusted to you, but being examples to the flock. ^4 And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

^5 Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because,

“God opposes the proud

but gives grace to the humble.” ^a

^6 Humble yourselves, therefore, under God’s mighty hand, that he may lift you up in due time.

I hope you can see that as Paul reflects on his own conduct with the Thessalonians, he is demonstrating the same leadership principles that Peter taught in his letter.

^8 We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us. ^9 Surely you remember, brothers, our toil and hardship; we worked night and day in order not to be a burden to anyone while we preached the gospel of God to you.

^10 You are witnesses, and so is God, of how holy, righteous and blameless we were among you who believed.

In Paul’s time, philosophers and travelling teachers would support themselves in a number of ways. The most desirable method was to be attached to a wealthy patron. This would be of social advantage to the patron and financial advantage to the philosopher. Otherwise, a philosopher might charge a fee for tuition in whatever subjects they had expertise. Some (such as some Cynics) supported themselves by begging. The final method was manual labour. Paul notes in verse 9 that they worked night and day to support themselves. This fits with other historical records which show that artisans such as tentmakers had to work very long hours just to meet their most basic needs. Many of us have a picture of Paul doing a little part-time work while he devoted most of his energy to preaching and teaching. In all likelihood, most of his time was spent teaching in the workshop while he worked! In Ephesians 19 we read that handkerchiefs (ie. sweatbands) and aprons that Paul wore were taken to the sick and the sick were healed. He would have used these things while he worked.

So Paul, one of the most significant leaders in the Church, worked hard in a profession that had very low social status, and paid very poorly; when he could have demanded to have his living expenses met by the churches he served in. He taught that leaders who devote themselves to serving the church should have their needs met, but he did not make use of this right himself.

How does knowing all this help us in our quest to be competent servants of God?

Firstly, a competent minister is a person of integrity - our lives must match what we say. Paul was able to say to the Thessalonians “You are witnesses…”. “You have seen how we lived and you know that our lifestyle backs up our preaching. We don’t just say that God has saved us from sin, we show what it’s like to live free from sin’s control. We don’t just say that God loves you, we show you by loving you ourselves. We don’t just talk about prayer, about humility, about confession, about forgiveness, about acceptance, about encouragement, about sacrifice…. we live it!!”

I don’t care what you sing on Sundays, what you say in Bible study or anywhere else – if you’re lifestyle doesn’t match it, then it’s just hot air. A person who God uses is a person whose walk matches their talk. They are people of integrity.

Secondly, a competent minister is someone who loves intensely. Paul says it was their love for the Thessalonians that caused them to serve in the manner they did. This is in fact the second reason Paul gave, the first (which we looked at last week) was their desire to please God.

Paul wants to be very up front about how much he loves the church family in Thessalonica. Jesus said that this love is a defining characteristic of his people. Do you have that sort of love? As we’ve already pointed out, it isn’t always easy to love people. People can be hurtful, unappreciative, opinionated, selfish and so on. But if Jesus loves you as you are, can you love others as they are too?

Thirdly, a competent minister sacrifices him/herself for the sake of others. This is not saying that they become a doormat. Allowing people to walk all over you is not loving them or you or others around you. However competent ministers are prepared to give up their rights for the sake of serving others. They are able to choose humility and submission. They do not compare themselves to others. They do not focus on their own entitlements. They do not consider their needs more important than others’. This is a particularly difficult thing to do when you are in a position of authority, which is one reason why leadership is the responsibility of the mature. In leadership you need to be constantly testing your own heart to make sure that you are using your authority to serve others and not indulge yourself. You need to guard your heart from bitterness when people don’t submit to your oversight. You need to guard against despondency when people don’t seem to heed your teaching or follow your example. You need to guard against pride that says you are better than or wiser than others. There are a whole lot of other pressures and temptations which can cause you to stop thinking and praying about how you can best serve the people in your care. While this can be particularly acute in leadership, it is true no matter what area you serve in. As ministers our prayer should always be “Lord, help me to serve others in love.”

Conclusion:

From what we’ve been describing today, being a competent minister is hard work! Why bother with that? Why not just accept your free gift of salvation and then just lie low until you die or Jesus returns?

The Bible says that Jesus has given each of us the calling and the gifting to serve in His Kingdom. Our decision is whether or not to be competent servants. Whether or not we will make ourselves available to be used well. You don’t need to do the sort of ministry that Paul did or what I do or anyone else for that matter. God has shaped you for a unique role.

The assurance that Peter gave to Elders who lead well is also an assurance for all of us who serve well in whatever capacity:

1 Peter 5:4

And when the Chief Shepherd appears, you will receive the crown of glory that will never fade away.

Let me close with a challenge that Paul gave to Timothy:

2 Timothy 2:15

Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a workman who does not need to be ashamed…

Amen!