Article - Helping Men with Depression

Helping Men with Depression

The Victorian government’s Better Health Channel has the following information about Male Depression on their Men’s Health factsheet:

One out of every six Australian men suffers from depression at any given time. Statistics indicate:

· Teenagers and the elderly are particularly at risk.

· Male depression is associated with an increased risk of health disorders, such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

· Life issues - such as the death of a spouse, separation, divorce and unemployment - trigger serious depression in men more often than in women.

· Men are likely to resort to destructive behaviours in an attempt to deal with depression.

· Depressed men are twice as likely as depressed women to abuse alcohol and drugs.

· The suicide rate for males aged between 15 and 24 years has tripled in the past three decades.

According to Beyond Blue, the agency supported by Australia’s Federal and State governments to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related substance misuse disorders in Australia:

• In 2004, 1,661 males (16.8 per 100,000) and 437 females (4.3 per 100,000) died by suicide - a total of 2,098 deaths (10.4 per 100,000).
• Australia's young (15-24) male suicide rate is fourth highest among Western Countries.
• Rates for men aged 30-34 years are currently the highest for all male age groups, followed by men aged 40-44 years.

Looking for Signs

Men usually experience depression differently to the way women do. The vast majority of men do not show obvious signs of depression, or indicate any need to talk over whatever issues may be weighing on their minds. Some of the more obvious signs of depression include:

• fatigue
• difficulty sleeping
• changed eating habits
• frequent/constant gloomy disposition
• expressing feelings of guilt and/or worthlessness
• don’t find pleasure in things they normally would

There are other things that men do to try and escape from feelings of depression or cover them up. These may include:

• withdrawal from family and friends
• Self-medication with excessive alcohol or drugs
• Womanising
• Watching more TV than usual
• Preoccupation with sport, greater competitiveness
• Lashing out verbally and/or physically
• Demanding respect or consideration
• Seeming restless and agitated

Hmm, watching too much TV and being obsessed with sport – that covers a fair number of us! Remember though that what you are looking for are changes that might indicated that there is something deeper going on inside.

What can I do if I am depressed?

If you are feeling depressed, the best advice I can give is for you to go to the right places to get help. Feeling depressed is a very common and very treatable condition, but you need to take the initiative to do something about it. I suggest that you go straight to professionals who have the best information and resources to help. These include the local medical services, Central Agcare, Men’s Helpline, Lifeline and so on.

Talking to someone is essential, but you can also get a whole stack of good information online, at sites like http://www.beyondblue.org.au for example.

What can I do to help someone who may be depressed?

Check out the information and resources mentioned above to help yourself to be prepared. The best thing you can do is give someone the encouragement and support to access the help they need. Sometimes that requires some bluntness, too! Don’t be afraid to let a depressed person know the impact their depression has on your relationship, but do this in a supportive way which encourages action, not as a guilt trip that just makes them feel worse.

There’s a whole stack of other things that you can do to help:

• Be available to listen. Most men don’t like being pressured into talking about stuff, but it is important to provide opportunities for men to share how they feel and to know that you are OK with that – that they haven’t let you down or disappointed you by being human!
• Be understanding. Whatever you do, don’t tell someone to “snap out of it” or “just get on with life”. That’s not helpful, caring or even possible for someone with depression to achieve.
• Look for things to do that will bring some joy and satisfaction into their life. Often depression comes about not because of a single major issue, but after a series of events and other factors which all pile up. If you can accumulate and focus on positive things in your life, not only can you help prevent depression but you can also help people to gain some positive momentum to pull out of it. Some things that can be helpful include hobbies, holidays, visits with loved ones, participation in positive groups such as churches, sporting groups or just gatherings with friends. Don’t try to do too much however, as this will just make the person feel pressured.
• Give reassurance. Depression can kill off a sense of hope and optimism. Sufferers need to be reassured that they will pull through.
• Be positive. Instead of always agreeing with negative things, try to turn these toward the positive. Be realistic, but also hopeful.
• Be calm. Men with depression will often try to create conflict. Remind yourself that this is a symptom, and don’t buy into it. Be assertive but not aggressive.
• Look for ways to spend time together. Men who are depressed often push others away or withdraw from others. Give them some space, but don’t be too easily put off – they need to know that you want to be around them.
• Look after yourself. Supporting someone through a difficult time takes its toll, so be wise enough to make sure that you are getting the support that you need, too.

Useful Contact Info

Check out the back page of the Fencepost for contact information for local medical and counselling services.

You might also like to make use of services such as:

· beyondblue info line (National) - 1300 22 4636

· Mensline Australia (National) - 1300 789 978

· Lifeline (National) - 13 11 14

· “Just Ask” Rural Mental Health Information & Referral Line (National) - 1300 13 11 14

· Kids Helpline (National) - 1800 551 800.

And Finally…

If you would like to talk to me about this subject or any other life issues, feel free to contact me!

Mike Birch

Pastor, Narembeen Church of Christ

Ph: 90647210 E: churchofchrist@narembeen.com

Sermon - The Story of Joseph Pt 4

The Story of Joseph pt 4

Genesis 41:1a

21/10/07

Would God still be good…?

I’ve been really looking forward to getting to this part of the story. It’s been a bleak road for Joseph to travel. He’s been hated by his brothers, sold into slavery, lied about, thrown in prison, then he has an opportunity to get a message about his innocence to the pharaoh, only to have the messenger completely forget about him for 2 years.

We take up the story in Genesis 41:1 – “Two years later the king dreamed…”

There’s been a lot of great stuff that we have learned about God already in this story. There’s been some really valuable things we’ve learned from Joseph about how to live with integrity and hope even in the worst circumstances, how to minister to others despite your own hardships and so on; but this is the part of the story that we’ve been anxious to get to. This is the part where the lights go on and we find out why God has allowed all of this stuff to occur. This is the part where we get inspired about the possibilities for happy endings to our own difficult circumstances, because we know how this story ends. God sends Pharaoh a dream that only Joseph can interpret. The cupbearer remembers the young Hebrew from prison and tells Pharaoh about him. Joseph is brought out, cleaned up and has an audience with the king of Egypt. He not only tells Pharaoh the meaning of his dream, but gives him some very good advice about what to do about it. Pharaoh is so impressed that he promotes Joseph to second-in-charge of the whole kingdom. This leads to safety and prosperity for Egypt, and ultimately to the reconciliation of Joseph with his family and the preservation of his family through perilous times. This story becomes a foreshadowing of the story of Jesus. Joseph, rejected by his brothers, was the one that God used to save them.

There are some wonderfully uplifting truths that we learn in the conclusion to the story of Joseph.

But before we go there, I need to ask a question…

Would this still be a good story if it ended with Joseph spending the rest of his days in prison? Would God still be good if he didn’t deliver Joseph from those awful circumstances?

You see sometimes we are tempted to worship the God of happy endings. We want a God who will eventually rewards us with promotions, possessions, popularity, prestige or whatever else it is that our hearts desire.

Why did Joseph continue to serve God with integrity? Was it because he believed that God would finally reward his faithfulness and rescue him from prison, perhaps even making it possible for Joseph to return home to his family? Joseph certainly hoped for something like this, but I don’t believe that is why he worshiped God. I think Joseph worshiped God because he knew that God is worthy of worship.

Hebrews 11:32 - 38

³² Well, how much more do I need to say? It would take too long to recount the stories of the faith of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, David, Samuel, and all the prophets. ³³ By faith these people overthrew kingdoms, ruled with justice, and received what God had promised them. They shut the mouths of lions, ³⁴ quenched the flames of fire, and escaped death by the edge of the sword. Their weakness was turned to strength. They became strong in battle and put whole armies to flight. ³⁵ Women received their loved ones back again from death.

But others trusted God and were tortured, preferring to die rather than turn from God and be free. They placed their hope in the resurrection to a better life. ³⁶ Some were mocked, and their backs were cut open with whips. Others were chained in dungeons. ³⁷ Some died by stoning, and some were sawed in half; others were killed with the sword. Some went about in skins of sheep and goats, hungry and oppressed and mistreated. ³⁸ They were too good for this world. They wandered over deserts and mountains, hiding in caves and holes in the ground

Here is something that many of us struggle to get our heads around: God is good to the women who received their loved ones back again from death, and He is good to the mothers and children who died in the Arenas of Rome. God is good to the ones who overthrew kingdoms, and He is good to the ones who died in the prisons and work camps of evil governments. God is good to the ones who escaped death by the edge of the sword, and He is good to the those who felt that sword pierce their bodies.

God is good because He is good, not because of what He does or doesn’t do in your circumstances or mine. God deserves our worship because He is God, not because of what we want to receive from Him.

Matthew 6:33

But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.

Who was ever told as a kid that they had to eat all of their vegetables or they wouldn’t get any dessert?

I think that is the way that some people approach this verse! You’ve got to seek first God’s and His righteousness, and if you do that, you’ll get the things that you really want. So go to church and bible study and try to do the right thing, and if you can stick at that God will give you everything you need to be happy.

I’ve got news for people who think like that – God’s kingdom and His righteousness is the dessert!

Philippians 4:12-13

I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. ^13 I can do everything through him who gives me strength.

Philippians 3:7-11

^7 But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. ^8 What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ ^9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God and is by faith. ^10 I want to know Christ and the power of his resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, ^11 and so, somehow, to attain to the resurrection from the dead.

Paul discovered that knowing Christ and living for him is the most satisfying, rewarding, joyful way to live. Have you discovered this truth for yourself?

We are heading into an election, and so we all expect to be seeing and hearing a lot of propaganda over the next few weeks. As good as political strategists and marketing experts are, there is someone who is much more adept at getting people to swallow his line. Satan is a liar and has been from the beginning. He has been very successful at even fooling Christians into buying his products. He sells us the dreams of pleasure, of accumulation, of leisure time, of the good opinion of others, of hassle-free sex, of success or whatever else it is that we have a weak spot for.

Here’s the truth of the situation according to the Bible…

If you look for satisfaction and security in relationships, work, pleasure, possessions you will be disappointed and eventually destroyed.

If you look to God to give you satisfaction and security in relationships, work, pleasure, possessions and so on, you will be disappointed to learn that there is no guarantee that He will give you what you want. (Remember Hebrews 11?)

If you seek God, if you earnestly want to put God first in your life, if your heart’s desire is to see Him glorified in your life, then you will discover satisfaction and security in Him. You will be content to trust that God will do what is best in your relationships, work, leisure time, possessions and so on, and you will find joy and consolation in that fact. You will be concerned about those other things but not controlled by them. Like the Apostle Paul, and like Joseph in our story, you will be content no matter what your circumstances are or have been. You will disarm the power of Satan to lure you away to worship false gods.

I want you to understand how important this distinction is. Far too many Christians seem to make their worship of God conditional upon what is going on in their lives. If times are tough, they seem to believe they have a right to sulk or shake their fists at God and demand better treatment. God does not owe us anything! He has given us everything in Jesus, how dare we act as though that is not enough.

This all sounds a bit harsh, but realising the truth about this is the only way to find real happiness.

When the Apostle Paul got toward the end of his life –pretty much alone in a damp and miserable dungeon – he wrote these words to his younger friend Timothy:

2 Timothy 4:7-8

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. ^8 Now there is in store for me the crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous Judge, will award to me on that day—and not only to me, but also to all who have longed for his appearing.

When God calls me home, I bet I won’t be thinking about how good I was at computer games, or even using computers for work. I won’t be thinking about body-surfing or playing sport. I won’t be worrying about what people in town thought of me, or my reputation as a preacher and leader. I will be thinking about what Jesus has thought of my life.

I won’t find satisfaction in the fact that for a while my children thought I was the strongest and smartest man in the world. I’ll find satisfaction in whatever I’ve done to point them to Jesus. I won’t care who made fun of me or attacked me if by doing so they gave me an opportunity to glorify Jesus and share in His sufferings.

Now I begin to be a disciple, and have no desire after anything visible or invisible, that I may attain to Jesus Christ. Let fire and the cross; let the crowds of wild beasts; let breakings, tearings, and separations of bones; let cutting off of members; let bruising to pieces of the whole body; and let the very torment of the devil come upon me: only let me attain to Jesus Christ …

All the pleasures of the world, and all the kingdoms of this earth, shall profit me nothing. It is better for me to die in behalf of Jesus Christ, than to reign over all the ends of the earth. "For what shall a man be profited, if he gain the whole world, but lose his own soul?" Him I seek, who died for us: Him I desire, who rose again for our sake. This is the gain which is laid up for me. Pardon me, brethren: do not hinder me from living, do not wish to keep me in a state of death; and while I desire to belong to God, do not ye give me over to the world. Suffer me to obtain pure light: when I have gone thither, I shall indeed be a man of God. Permit me to be an imitator of the passion of my God.

- Ignatius of Antioch (c 35 – 107AD)