Article - Helping Men with Depression

Helping Men with Depression

The Victorian government’s Better Health Channel has the following information about Male Depression on their Men’s Health factsheet:

One out of every six Australian men suffers from depression at any given time. Statistics indicate:

· Teenagers and the elderly are particularly at risk.

· Male depression is associated with an increased risk of health disorders, such as cardiovascular disease and diabetes.

· Life issues - such as the death of a spouse, separation, divorce and unemployment - trigger serious depression in men more often than in women.

· Men are likely to resort to destructive behaviours in an attempt to deal with depression.

· Depressed men are twice as likely as depressed women to abuse alcohol and drugs.

· The suicide rate for males aged between 15 and 24 years has tripled in the past three decades.

According to Beyond Blue, the agency supported by Australia’s Federal and State governments to address issues associated with depression, anxiety and related substance misuse disorders in Australia:

• In 2004, 1,661 males (16.8 per 100,000) and 437 females (4.3 per 100,000) died by suicide - a total of 2,098 deaths (10.4 per 100,000).
• Australia's young (15-24) male suicide rate is fourth highest among Western Countries.
• Rates for men aged 30-34 years are currently the highest for all male age groups, followed by men aged 40-44 years.

Looking for Signs

Men usually experience depression differently to the way women do. The vast majority of men do not show obvious signs of depression, or indicate any need to talk over whatever issues may be weighing on their minds. Some of the more obvious signs of depression include:

• fatigue
• difficulty sleeping
• changed eating habits
• frequent/constant gloomy disposition
• expressing feelings of guilt and/or worthlessness
• don’t find pleasure in things they normally would

There are other things that men do to try and escape from feelings of depression or cover them up. These may include:

• withdrawal from family and friends
• Self-medication with excessive alcohol or drugs
• Womanising
• Watching more TV than usual
• Preoccupation with sport, greater competitiveness
• Lashing out verbally and/or physically
• Demanding respect or consideration
• Seeming restless and agitated

Hmm, watching too much TV and being obsessed with sport – that covers a fair number of us! Remember though that what you are looking for are changes that might indicated that there is something deeper going on inside.

What can I do if I am depressed?

If you are feeling depressed, the best advice I can give is for you to go to the right places to get help. Feeling depressed is a very common and very treatable condition, but you need to take the initiative to do something about it. I suggest that you go straight to professionals who have the best information and resources to help. These include the local medical services, Central Agcare, Men’s Helpline, Lifeline and so on.

Talking to someone is essential, but you can also get a whole stack of good information online, at sites like http://www.beyondblue.org.au for example.

What can I do to help someone who may be depressed?

Check out the information and resources mentioned above to help yourself to be prepared. The best thing you can do is give someone the encouragement and support to access the help they need. Sometimes that requires some bluntness, too! Don’t be afraid to let a depressed person know the impact their depression has on your relationship, but do this in a supportive way which encourages action, not as a guilt trip that just makes them feel worse.

There’s a whole stack of other things that you can do to help:

• Be available to listen. Most men don’t like being pressured into talking about stuff, but it is important to provide opportunities for men to share how they feel and to know that you are OK with that – that they haven’t let you down or disappointed you by being human!
• Be understanding. Whatever you do, don’t tell someone to “snap out of it” or “just get on with life”. That’s not helpful, caring or even possible for someone with depression to achieve.
• Look for things to do that will bring some joy and satisfaction into their life. Often depression comes about not because of a single major issue, but after a series of events and other factors which all pile up. If you can accumulate and focus on positive things in your life, not only can you help prevent depression but you can also help people to gain some positive momentum to pull out of it. Some things that can be helpful include hobbies, holidays, visits with loved ones, participation in positive groups such as churches, sporting groups or just gatherings with friends. Don’t try to do too much however, as this will just make the person feel pressured.
• Give reassurance. Depression can kill off a sense of hope and optimism. Sufferers need to be reassured that they will pull through.
• Be positive. Instead of always agreeing with negative things, try to turn these toward the positive. Be realistic, but also hopeful.
• Be calm. Men with depression will often try to create conflict. Remind yourself that this is a symptom, and don’t buy into it. Be assertive but not aggressive.
• Look for ways to spend time together. Men who are depressed often push others away or withdraw from others. Give them some space, but don’t be too easily put off – they need to know that you want to be around them.
• Look after yourself. Supporting someone through a difficult time takes its toll, so be wise enough to make sure that you are getting the support that you need, too.

Useful Contact Info

Check out the back page of the Fencepost for contact information for local medical and counselling services.

You might also like to make use of services such as:

· beyondblue info line (National) - 1300 22 4636

· Mensline Australia (National) - 1300 789 978

· Lifeline (National) - 13 11 14

· “Just Ask” Rural Mental Health Information & Referral Line (National) - 1300 13 11 14

· Kids Helpline (National) - 1800 551 800.

And Finally…

If you would like to talk to me about this subject or any other life issues, feel free to contact me!

Mike Birch

Pastor, Narembeen Church of Christ

Ph: 90647210 E: churchofchrist@narembeen.com