Growing Up in the Church
Introduction
How many people here today have grown up in a Christian home?
Today we are going to talk about the challenges and blessings of being a second, third or whatever generation Christian.
However for many of us, it’s almost as if there is no “before” story. We have grown up knowing about Jesus, we’ve grown up being guided by Christian principles. So right from infancy we have tasted something of the goodness of the new life that Jesus came to give. And sure, at some point we needed to decided whether we would continue in it or not, whether we believed what we had been taught and whether we would accept it, but we have had the incredible blessing of tasting the goodness of Christianity right from an early age. But is that a blessing, or does it have great drawbacks?
If you haven’t grown up in a Christian family, what we’re talking about today is important for you to, not only to help you understand others in the church, but also to be prepared to minister to any children that God blesses you with.
Opening Prayer
I had a friend who said to me once “I sometimes wish I had lived a really sinful life before becoming a Christian, so that there would be an obvious change in my life once I was saved”. There are a lot of Christians who feel like they don’t have much of a story to share about how God has worked in their life, because in a sense they have inherited a faith and a lifestyle which has protected them from making a lot of wrong decisions and doing a lot of harm to themselves and others. They feel like their stories are boring because they don’t feature all the drama of a life marred by sin.
At the same time, I know people who wish they had the benefit of growing up in a Christian home. They would have loved the security, love and godly values that go along with striving to live up to what the Bible describes a family should be like. I know many Christians who experienced things that continue to hurt because of their own choices and the choices of others that impacted on them.
What are some of the blessings of growing up in a Christian home?
- You are taught the truth from a young age (2 Tim 3:14-15)
But as for you, continue in what you have learned and have become convinced of, because you know those from whom you learned it, and how from infancy you have known the holy Scriptures, which are able to make you wise for salvation through faith in Christ Jesus.
Last week we talked about how we receive new life in Jesus. God helps us to understand the truth about Jesus and to believe it with our whole heart and mind. Some of us, like Timothy, experience this by hearing and seeing that truth from our parents and our church families. What we saw and heard made us wise for salvation. We knew what was true and what we needed to do in response.
There are many people who grow up in families and societies that are hostile to God and to the church, or indifferent. Those children inherit values and attitudes that actually keep them away from God. God needs to find other ways to break into their lives to show them the truth.
Christian parents must understand the importance of their role in bringing their children up in the training and instruction of the Lord, as it says in Ephesians 6:4.
- You are protected from a life ravaged by sin
Romans 7:5 says: “For when we were controlled by the sinful nature, a the sinful passions aroused by the law were at work in our bodies, so that we bore fruit for death.”
We need to remember how the Bible defines sin. Sometimes people think of sin as the things that God doesn’t approve of. It’s as though we face a whole smorgasbord of different options, some of them are OK with God and some aren’t. Some people say “That’s fine if you just want to choose from those options, but I want to sample the whole lot.” No, sin is falling short of God’s standards. It’s missing the mark. When we sin we fall short of the goodness of God. We fall short of the life that He intended for us.
Instead of the blessing of marital faithfulness, there is the burden of infidelity. Instead of the blessing of self-control, there are fits of rage. Instead of the blessing of honesty, there is lack of trust. Instead of putting others first, there is selfishness and competition. Instead of always speaking in love, there is gossipping and slander. Romans 7:5 describes these things as fruit for death. In Galatians 5 these things are called the fruit of the sinful nature. Galatians
Growing up in a Christian home does not mean that you are completely shielded from the effects of sin. We all still fall short of God’s standards, even the best of us. All parents sin against their children sometimes, and all children sin against their parents. But it does mean that to some degree at least, you are kept safe from a life which is ravaged by sin. Your family life should be characterised by the fruit of the spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.
Those are some pretty good blessings that come with growing up in a Christian home. There are some real challenges that come with those blessing though:
- Confusion over Conversion
For many people, their decision to follow Jesus came very early in life, and although their level of commitment and maturity has waxed and waned, they have basically been a Christian their whole lives. If you are someone who feels somehow inferior or unsure because you don’t remember a particular moment of conversion, don’t worry, you’re not alone! As great as it is to celebrate great conversion stories, the greatest blessing a person can have is a godly inheritance. If you inherited a faith from your parents that at some stage became your own, be thankful. Don’t worry if you don’t know the date or time that you first decided, but rejoice in the fact that you are a follower of Jesus today because of the influences God put in your life right from the beginning.
- Hypocrisy in Family and Church
The sad fact is that there are many people who have grown up in Christian homes and churches, who have been turned away by what they experienced there. When you look at the incidences of family breakdown, family violence and other abuse within the Church it is hard not to be very disappointed and disillusioned. If you have experienced these things or other evidences of hypocrisy in the church, it is hard to believe the gospel that the church preaches.
There are a lot of pastor’s kids for example who are turned off the church for two reasons:
1) They see what their parents are really like and it doesn’t add up to what they preach and present
2) They see what their parents put up with in the church and that turns them off.
It’s not just Pastor’s kids who experience this.
There are two tragedies that can occur when children notice that what actually happens in family and church do not add up to what the Bible teaches:
1) They become disillusioned and leave as soon as they are able to.
2) They learn to acknowledge the Bible mentally, but in practice they copy the example set for them – they become hypocrites themselves.
For this reason churches and families need to be serious about addressing sin. Instead of sweeping stuff under the carpet and being defensive of ourselves, we need to model an attitude of repentance and teachability. We need to learn to apologise to our children when we sin against them, and to acknowledge inconsistencies between what we say we believe and what we actually do.
Interestingly, in the Bible it is Fathers who are urged to take the lead in this. Fathers tend to struggle the most to do it! Ephesians 6:4 says: Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.
Colossians
In my experience what has embittered or exasperated children most is hypocrisy in the family and in the church.
If you are someone who has been turned off by hypocrisy I want to apologise to you for that. I ask you to remember that we are all people who fall short of God’s standards, and encourage you to learn to forgive those who have sinned against you. I urge you to look to Jesus and decide what you will do with Him. Don’t be distracted by other people, no matter who they might be. They will answer to Jesus one day, just as you will.
- Unawareness of the ugliness of sin
If you are someone who has not experienced first-hand how destructive sin can be, it is very easy to get sucked in to flirting with it. You buy in to Satan’s lie that says: “God is a party-pooper. God is like your parents – He just wants you to be safe and boring.” Actually, God is nothing like that at all! But God does want what is good for you, not what is evil.
I remember being part of a group of older teenagers in a church in
However when I think about that scene I just feel really sad. I used to walk past nightclubs in
I remember a young man who became a Christian and who was really growing and loving his new life. He got involved with the group who were regularly clubbing, and something started to change in him. Over time he became less and less involved in the church and with his Christian friends. Last I saw him he basically said that all he lived for was the weekends, when he would go out, get drunk and sing karaoke! A shipwrecked life, because a group of young people were foolish enough to flirt with sin. Don’t go looking for fun and adventure where Satan is trying to sell it. Life’s only real adventure is to follow wherever God leads. Sin is ugly. God said to Cain in Genesis 4: “Sin is crouching at your door. It desires to have you.” You don’t flirt with hungry lions. Don’t flirt with sin.
- Tension of Different Worlds
There are plenty of other things that we could address today, but the last one I want to talk about is the tension of living in different worlds.
When I grew up I lived on the
In one world, I wanted to be good and to make my parents proud. Particularly I wanted to follow Jesus. I wanted that in the other world too, but I also wanted to be accepted. I wanted to fit in. Christianity doesn’t always fit that well in our world.
So there’s a tension that kids have when they grow up in Christian homes, and it can very easily lead to living two separate lives. In one life there is church and Sunday school and home. In the other is school and sport and friends.
Parents have a responsibility to teach children to live as Christians in the World – not to live in two different worlds. Sadly, many children grow up fitting in with both worlds. So even as adults they dress one way on Sunday and another way during the week. They speak one way on Sunday and another way during the week. They watch stuff on T.V. that they wouldn’t accept on the big screen in Church. They listen to things that they would never want to hear a preacher say! And somehow this doesn’t seem weird! It’s the problem of hypocrisy that we discussed earlier, but it goes even beyond that.
Perhaps the biggest problem with living in different worlds is that we don’t know how to bridge the gap. Do I talk about God with people outside my Christian world? Do I invite my friends along to church events? Do I show them that side of me that they have never seen, and what will they think of me if I do? It’s easier to keep the two worlds separate, and that is just what Satan wants. He doesn’t mind if Christians keep that stuff to themselves. God does. We are His ambassadors to the world. We are not to keep our Christianity separate from our life in the world.
I’ve got to tell you that as much as I’ve always tried to be a good witness to those around me, I’ve pretty much grown up living in two different worlds. I’ve always struggled to talk to people outside my church world about God and the difference He makes to my life. I don’t want to offend people. I want to fit in. I want to be liked. But I’m learning how to do it, and I’m praying for opportunities. I’m starting to see those opportunities. How about you?
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