Vengeance vs Kindness
1 Thessalonians 5:15
Yesterday I heard that some kids had been mean to my son, and straight away I wanted to know who was responsible. I wanted to make sure they did not get away with it. Many of you have seen reports of crimes on T.V. and thought “I hope that person gets caught. I hope they get what’s coming to them”.
Today we are examining 1 Thessalonians 5:15, which simply says:
“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”
Ø in the sphere of the mind, we need understanding. Once we understand others, ourselves and circumstances better, we are better equipped to be patient.
Ø in the sphere of the heart, we need love. Remembering our love for others or our responsibility to love others causes us to treat people the way that we would like to be treated. Love is patient.
Ø in the sphere of the spirit, we need spiritual vitality. Patience is an attribute of God, and as we keep in step with God’s Spirit, it becomes one of our attributes also. Patience is a fruit of the Spirit.
Now it’s easy to jot things down on a page or to simply sit and listen, but how are we allowing this to translate into a changed way of living?
In my experience, when I find that I am being impatient with people or with circumstances, the first thing I do is deal with the realm of the spirit. I apologise to God for my impatience, and ask for His help. Then I find that God will direct me either to deal with issues of the heart or the head. I usually need reminding to love someone or I need reminding to stop and think and come to a better understanding of what is going on.
Today’s verse flows on from last week’s theme, to deal not with impatience but the natural desire for retaliation. Let’s look at our verse again:
“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”
I want to read you a selection of Scriptures that deal with this theme. You can follow along on by reading the words on the screen or on your handouts, but I want you to really allow the words of these passages to soak into you as we read them together. God wants to speak to you through His Holy Spirit as we read these words together.
Luke 6:27-36
27 “But I tell you who hear me: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28 bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29 If someone strikes you on one cheek, turn to him the other also. If someone takes your cloak, do not stop him from taking your tunic. 30 Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31 Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ love those who love them. 33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ do that. 34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even ‘sinners’ lend to ‘sinners,’ expecting to be repaid in full. 35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
Ephesians 4:31-32
31 Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32 Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Titus 3:3-8
3 At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another. 4 But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, 6 whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, 7 so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life. 8 This is a trustworthy saying. And I want you to stress these things, so that those who have trusted in God may be careful to devote themselves to doing what is good. These things are excellent and profitable for everyone.
Jeremiah 9:23-24
23 This is what the Lord says:
“Let not the wise man boast of his wisdom
or the strong man boast of his strength
or the rich man boast of his riches,
24 but let him who boasts boast about this:
that he understands and knows me,
that I am the Lord, who exercises kindness,
justice and righteousness on earth,
for in these I delight,”
declares the Lord.
The Bible is very realistic when it describes our natural leanings toward malice and revenge. There are some people that we naturally like or love, and there are others that we don’t. There are people we despise, people we resent, even people we hate. We have people who are our enemies.
Why does this happen?
Because we are human!!
Titus 3:3 sums it up in very unflattering terms: we were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures.
Because of this we by nature wrong each other. And then we retaliate against each other and we end up with an increasing spiral of hostility and resentment. As I have observed people during my adult life in particular, I have noticed how often people change their environment or their connections with other people because things have gone badly in relationships. There are people who are nasty to others behind their back, but pleasant to their face. Then when their hypocrisy is exposed, there is either a lot of making up to do or the relationship moves into a state of open hostility.
I was talking to someone recently about a family situation where all the siblings tend to put on happy faces when they are around each other, but there is a lot of unhappy water under the bridge. It doesn’t take much for someone to be offended and retaliate. Hurtful things get said either directly or indirectly, and the cycle continues on.
That’s one thing I have observed. Another is the way that we respond to the injustices we experience. It can be something as simple as a rough call by an umpire, but because we feel wronged we retaliate with a comment or some other venting. “The umpiring today was a joke”, “Was he even watching the game?” or worse gets said. We pay back wrong for wrong. A bad call gets repaid with slander.
Or how do we respond to criminals? “They should lock him up and throw away the key”. “They should do to him what he did to that old lady”.
At times like this we call upon the God of Justice, and we sometimes forget to see things through the eyes of the God of Mercy.
I have known enough criminals to know that there is a sad story behind every criminal act. That doesn’t absolve them from being responsible for their actions, but it does tend to make me more interested in restoration than revenge. “How can this damaged individual who is so dangerous to society be transformed into a healed and whole person who is a blessing to those around them” is a much better question to ask than “What’s the best way to punish this person for what they did”.
Let me give you a simple illustration: I told you earlier of how I heard that some kids were quite mean to Tim down at the oval yesterday. Within 5 minutes I was down there – I wanted to make sure that my son was having a good time and that he was not being treated badly by anyone.
It turns out that Tim was having a really nice time, but a little later I observed as one of the kids who had been a bit unkind to him earlier on was being spoken to by a significant adult in their life. The way they were being treated reminded me that mean kids are usually unhappy kids (the same is true of adults). Instead of wanting to punish that child for wronging my son, I wanted to show as much kindness as I could to give them a taste of a better way of living.
You see, the time for judgment and punishment is coming. The Bible describes the way that Jesus is going to judge the living and the dead. The punishment that Jesus dispenses for evil will be both severe and sufficient. In the meantime, God has chosen to show all of us kindness through Jesus, in the hope that it will move us to repentance. God does not want anyone to perish, yet the just penalty for all sin is death – eternal separation from God. God wants us to accept his forgiveness before we must face judgement. We have an opportunity to choose forgiveness and transformation.
As God’s people, we have a responsibility to show people what God is like. Instead of retaliating against evil, we should repay evil with kindness. Those who are our natural enemies we should treat as friends.
As Jesus says in Luke 6:35:
35 … he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
“Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.”
Is there any way that you have been paying back wrong for wrong? Do you speak badly about people who have wronged you? Do you treat badly people who have wronged you?
The Bible urges us to move from vengeance to kindness. The only way we can do that is by forgiving others just as in Christ God has forgiven us. He showed us His kindness in Jesus while we were still acting in hatred toward Him. His kindness moved us to accept His forgiveness and the new life He offers.
Retaliating against one another just continues a cycle of hatred and revenge. Forgiving one another and being kind to one another provides the opportunity for repentance and reconciliation. It paves the way for us to be the sort of community that God wants us to be, a community that overcomes evil with good, a community that builds each other up instead of tears each other down.
Take your eyes of others and what you think they deserve. What does God ask of you in your relationship with others? That is what our last 5 studies in the book of 1 Thessalonians have been about. I trust that you have allowed them to speak to how you relate to people in the church and outside it.
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