Sermon - Being Patient With Everyone

Being Patient with Everyone

1 Thessalonians 5:14ff

22/07/07

Last week we examined the first part of 1 Thessalonians 5:14 which talks about dealing with difficult people in the Church. We found that instead of reacting against such people, distancing ourselves from them or criticising them; we are to come alongside them and help them in the most appropriate manner. We are to warn those who are out of step with God and the church because of laziness or a rebellious attitude. We are to encourage those whose timidity holds back their growth and service. We are to help those whose weakness causes them to struggle with sin or other causes of bondage.

Today the focus shifts from difficult people within the Church to people generally. All people. We are told in the final part of verse 14 that we are to “…be patient with everyone.”

Today we are going to get stuck into the topic of patience, to find out what it is, why we so often struggle with it and how we can grow in it.

What is Patience?

Patience is the ability to put up with pain, troubles, delays, difficulties, hardship, etc without complaint or ill temper. It is the good-natured tolerance of difficulty or delay.

Now, notice that we are to be patient with everyone. Every person that you are in contact with will cause you delays or difficulties at some point. Everyone will need your patience. There are 2 reasons in particular that we need patience:

1) We are all sinful. Whether deliberately or accidentally, we will all do things that are wrong which have a harmful effect on each other. We will fail to listen, we will fail to communicate well, we will fail to care, we will fail to live up to our promises or obligations and so on. Our sinfulness causes difficulties to those around us.

2) We are all different. A lot of the times that we rub each other up the wrong way is not because of sin but because of our differences. God has made us all unique, and He has done so on purpose. As a result of our unique design we have different preferences, different ways of seeing things, different priorities and so on. Because we are different that means we can never have things our own way. Things don’t happen the way we want them to, at the speed we want them to. We have difficulties and delays.

Now, a lot of times that we feel impatient with someone, we jump straight to reason number 1! It’s because someone is doing something wrong. It’s because someone has some sort of failing in their lifestyle or in how they communicate or in their understanding of some subject.

In my experience, far more often reason number 2 is actually the cause of my impatience or the impatience of others. It’s not because someone is wrong or evil, but because they are different that causes me to feel impatient with them.

Have you ever noticed that people tend to naturally gravitate towards others who are as similar as possible to themselves? That’s because we get less irritated by people who are like us! People even choose what local church to belong to based on the similarities they have with others there.

God has actually designed the Church much better than that. He knows that we need certain differences in order for us to be caused to grow and also to be effective in what He is calling us to do. We are to work together as a body, not all be the same type of body part.

However living together and working together with people who are different requires much patience. But how do we develop patience? This morning I am going to examine 3 spheres of our being – mind, heart and spirit – and how each of these play a role in developing patience.

Sphere 1 – The Mind: We need Wisdom.

Proverbs 14:29

A patient man has great understanding,

but a quick-tempered man displays folly.

When we feel impatient we believe that it is the other person’s fault that we feel that way. Our focus is on what they are doing wrong, or on the way that their behaviours and attitudes are affecting us that we don’t like.

Whether we are patient or impatient is actually less about those around us and more about our own maturity. Mature people can tolerate all sorts of irritating or hurtful people and situations, whereas immature people are inflamed by just about anything.

Let me give you an illustration about the importance of understanding. A friend was recently telling me about a holiday he’d taken, which involved hiring a car in France. He had arrived in a particular town and needed to get to the tourist centre to organise some accommodation. Time was precious, as it was already nearly 5 o’clock. He parks in a carpark and is trying to lock the car so that he and his wife can walk over to the tourist centre before it closes, and that’s where the difficulties begin. Pressing the button on the remote control, the car doors lock, but just to be sure, he went around to check the boot, and found that it was unlocked. He pressed the “lock” button again, and found that now the boot was locked. Just to be sure, he went back to check the doors, and found that they were now unlocked! For the next few minutes he became increasingly frustrated as he tried various combinations of presses on the remote control only to discover that something always remained unlocked! The car manual is in French so that was no help whatsoever!

Eventually he stopped and had a think. Something occurred to him as a possibility. He stepped back from the car. Pressed the “lock” button on the remote control, and then threw the remote control over to his wife who was waiting a little distance away. Then he went and checked the doors and the boot, and found that they were all locked. Understanding had dawned! Just holding the remote near the door or boot was sufficient to unlock it. Every time he went to check whether something was locked or not, and stood too close or held the remote too close, the boot or door which had already been locked, was then unlocked.

If he had already known that, he would never have become so frustrated or been delayed for so long. Understanding can be very helpful.

It is the same with people. Understanding people can prevent a lot of frustration.

I find the more I understand about myself and other people, the less angry I get when they rub up against me in ways that I don’t like. The more I understand the better equipped I am to live harmoniously and work effectively with others. However we need to recognise that knowledge is different to understanding.

Just because I know certain things about myself and others doesn’t mean that I will apply that knowledge well. It doesn’t mean that I will act with great understanding in any given situation. Knowledge is a bit like a tool – you can use it well, use it badly or not use it at all!

It’s very easy to learn a lot about personality types and communication styles and other topics that can help your understanding of yourself and others, yet be no more patient or wise in how you relate to other people.

There’s a great saying which is found in 1 Corinthians 8:1, which says: “Knowledge puffs up, but love builds up.” That leads us to the second essential ingredient of

Sphere 2 – the Heart: We need Love

1 Corinthians 13:4a

“Love is patient”

When our focus is on ourselves, the result is that we will react badly toward those who cause us pain or inconvenience. When our desire is to love others, we are less conscious of our own needs or desires, and more conscious of the needs and desires of others. We learn that love covers over a multitude of sins, because what matters is not how people fail us or inconvenience us; but on how we can bless other people.

Love understands that relationships are costly, but that the cost is worthwhile.

Knowledge by itself can be used to help or hurt. It can be used to manipulate others for our own purposes. It can be used to judge. It can be used to dismiss and belittle. Love comes along and gives good motives to how knowledge is used.

It is very easy to say “I love you”. It is easy to say as a Christian “I love others”. What does that love cause you to do? When James wrote about faith, he basically said that faith without action is useless. “I will show you my faith” he says “by what I do” (James 2:18).

The same principle is true of love. It’s easy to claim to love, what matters is what we do about it.

What are you doing to love others – even those you find most irritating? The ones who strain your patience. The Bible stresses the importance of showing hospitality to each other, worshipping together, encouraging one another, helping one another, bearing one another’s burdens and so on. This doesn’t just apply to those you feel most comfortable with, it applies to everyone.

I have seen many cases where people have harboured resentments or reacted angrily to others. I have seen groups divided over issues or incidents. Very often I have tried to explain things to people in ways that help them to be more patient and accepting of one another, but the truth of the matter is that most times, a lack of knowledge or even understanding is not the biggest problem – the biggest problem is a lack of love. Probably I need to spend less time trying to help people understand our differences and more time saying “Hey, those differences are there, and they make life tough for us sometimes, but let’s love each other anyway. Let’s not focus on those things so much, but really work on loving each other as best we can.”

Many times because people have been unable to come to agreement on things there has been an angst that remains between them. Love says that even if we don’t agree or even understand where another person is coming from or why they do what they do, we can still live together and work together. We can happily submit to one another in love, instead of getting uptight with each other and competing for who gets their way. Love is patient.

Sphere 3 – the Spirit: We need Spiritual Vitality

Galatians 5:22

But the fruit of the Spirit is…. patience…”

When we are experiencing life through the Holy Spirit, patience is one of the things that we will naturally exhibit. It is something that God Himself will produce within us. It is the fruit of spiritual vitality – which just means spiritual life.

You see, God is perfectly wise – there is no limit to His understanding and knowledge. He is perfectly loving – His very nature is love. The result of this is that among all of the other wonderful characteristics that God possesses, He is patient.

God’s patience is incredible. If you are like me sometimes you question God’s patience. “Is it possible that God still wants me in His family? Is it possible that God still lives in me and wants to use me after what I’ve done and how I’ve let Him down?”

Sometimes we think of how people in our lives have responded to us when we have hurt them or let them down, and we think that God is like that.

But God is perfectly patient. Being patient doesn’t mean that He is indulgent. You can be patient with someone while at the same time disciplining them for example. God even has the ability to be patient and angry at the same time, but that is a topic for another day!

In 1 Peter 3, the Apostle Peter is writing about the second coming of Christ, and how it was not happening as quickly as people expected. By way of explanation, he says that God “is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (1 Peter 3:9).

When you stop and think about how difficult it must be for God to tolerate the existence of evil in a world He created as good. Evil which required the sacrifice of His son. Evil which continues to offend Him and cause such pain to those He loves. When you realize how much pain this causes and the fact that He patiently endures it for the sake of His love for people who are yet to accept His salvation; then you begin to understand the patience of God.

He continues to allow rebellious humanity to shake it’s fist at Him and to treat His creation with contempt when He has the power to stop it in an instant.

Now think about how you have treated those who offend you. Those who irritate you. Those you find hard to live with and work with. Think about those people who you avoid. Think about those you resent. Those you remain angry with. Those you treat badly.

If you are spiritually alive, you cannot treat people this way. Those feelings and attitudes cannot live inside you when the Holy Spirit is in charge. If those things are there, it points to a lack of understanding, a lack of love, and a lack of spiritual life.

Conclusion

Being impatient with people is not due to a problem with others, it is a problem with us. Whether it’s being inflamed by other people’s sinfulness or just their differences; if I am impatient or resentful that is a problem with me, not them.

1 Thessalonians 5:14 says “be patient with everyone”. As you grow in wisdom, in love and in spiritual vitality, you will discover that by the grace of God you will be able to consistently obey this command, no matter how difficult your circumstances or the people around you are proving to be.

Sermon - Dealing with Difficult People

Dealing with Difficult People in the Church pt 1

1 Thessalonians 5:14&15

8/7/07

Introduction

Who has ever felt a little ticked off by other people in the church? Let’s admit it, your fellow Christians get on your nerves sometimes, and for good reason. Some of the most annoying people I know are Christians. I have been more deeply hurt and disappointed by Christians than by those who are not Christians.

It doesn’t sound like a very promising start to a sermon, does it?

One thing I love about the Bible is that it is not a fantasy novel. It is very realistic. It is honest, it is truthful, and because it is so truthfully honest it is of real help to us as we live in a world that does not live up to the ideals that we would hope for.

Early on in our series in 1 Thessalonians we discovered that the church in Thessalonica was going really, really well. Paul was relieved – in fact, overjoyed – when he heard just how well the church had been going.

But even when a church is going well, there are going to be people within it who are not going so well. As Paul gives some closing instructions to the church he tackles the subject of what to do with people who are not doing well. People who are causing difficulties to themselves and to others.

1 Thessalonians 5:14-15

And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. ^15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

We Have and Urgent Duty to One Another

Verse 14 begins “And we urge you, brothers…”

As Paul talks about dealing with difficult people, I want you to recognise 2 very important principles:

1) Dealing with difficult people is our shared responsibility

Paul addresses the whole church as he makes the following requests. It is true that the elders of a church have a particular oversight and responsibility to care for the church and to deal with people according to their needs, but that is never just an eldership responsibility. We are all responsible to love one another, and that sometimes means helping people who are being difficult. It is always easier to leave this sort of task to someone else, but we are all called to something more. We are called to a deep commitment to Christ and to one another. Being in a church family is more than just turning up on Sundays. It is much more than that. It requires much more than that from us.

2) Dealing with difficult people is an urgent priority.

There is a tone of urgency in how Paul addresses the Thessalonians here. In verse 12 Paul is asking the Thessalonians to love and respect their leaders, but notice there is an even greater urgency in this request in verse 14 to deal with people who are difficult in the group. It is important to treat our leaders properly, but it is perhaps an even more urgent priority to deal with those people who are struggling in a way which restores and helps them.

Who are the People who Cause Difficulties in the Church?

There are a number of different types of problematic people described in these 2 verses. I’m going to describe these pretty bluntly. It may sound a little uncaring, but what I am actually doing is portraying the seriousness of these various conditions. We need to understand how serious they are so that we deal with them appropriately.

1) The Unruly

The word used by the NIV in verse 14 is “idle”, but it is perhaps better understood using the NASB or King James Version which says “unruly”. This word is describing those people who cannot be bothered to keep in step with the rest of the church. People who will not submit to the authority of leadership. People who are always out of line. This word was used in a military setting to describe someone who was insubordinate, someone who did not do their duty, someone who was not submissive.

There are 2 basic reasons for this. One is apathy – a person simply cannot be bothered to do what is expected, to live in a way which is expected of them. The other is rebellion – they do not want to take orders or submit their own desires, ambitions or needs for the sake of others. They are either undisciplined, uncommitted or unteachable – possibly all three!

Unruly people undermine the unity and effectiveness of the church.

2) The Timid

We often feel sorry for those who are timid, but we often fail to realise how dangerous it is to allow people to remain in this condition. We often indulge people who are timid instead of helping and challenging them to grow.

The word translated “timid” here literally means “small-souled”. It describes someone who is faint-hearted. This person is always a victim or a potential victim. A timid person always sees the negatives and the dangers in any situation. They prefer the comfort of familiarity rather than the mystery of the unknown. They always resist change and the uncertainty it brings. They squash faith because it is risky and unsafe. They simply do not have the courage to do what God calls them to do. Their negativity and fear infects the church and stifles any new work that God stirs up in the hearts of its members. The timid person seeks safety and self-protection above all else.

The timid person says “Don’t challenge me, I’m too fragile. Don’t ask anything of me.” The timid person expects to be looked after – they suck the energy and resources of the church from where they should be directed.

Timid people stifle the growth and creativity of the church.

3) The Weak

There are a number of different people this phrase can be applied to:

The Morally Weak

Who are the morally weak? They are people who seem to constantly struggle with sin. They struggle to discipline their thoughts, on the contrary they entertain temptation until they get to the point of acting on it. They lack spiritual power and spiritual discernment. They know very well that it is beyond them to live the righteous life that God calls us to, yet they have not discovered the power of allowing God’s Spirit to control their thoughts and actions.

Because of their own moral weakness, these people tend to be more suspicious of others. Their guilty conscience often drives them to legalism in a futile attempt to defeat sin. Morally weak people are often the harshest critics of sin in the lives of others. Their frustration at their own hidden sins drives them to judgementalism instead of compassion and gentle restoration.

The Weak in Faith

The Weak in Faith are talked about in Romans 14 & 15 and also 1 Corinthians 8 to 10. They are people with an oversensitive conscience. They see sin where a person with strong faith does not. Where a person of strong faith has confidence and liberty, someone with weak faith is always afraid of stumbling. They lack confidence in their understanding of the character of God and in the leading of His Spirit, so they look to written rules to guide their actions.

The Weak in Body

Of course there are also people who are weak in body. This is a different category altogether from the others which are in view in this passage. Most commentators agree that this passage is not speaking about physical weakness, but that is not to say that people who are physically weak do not need the help of their Christian brothers and sisters. This is simply because Paul is addressing spiritual issues, and while at times there may be spiritual causes to our physical condition, this is not always the case.

People who are morally weak or weak in faith are dominated by sin or the fear of sin. Remember that sin is the falling short of God’s standards. Weak Christians do not have the strength to pursue and attain God’s will for their lives. They can sap the spiritual strength of a church if this problem is not addressed.

It’s all inspiring stuff so far isn’t it!

Actually, I think it is. It’s nice to recognise that even in a church that is going so well, people still need to be aware of those who are struggling with these conditions, and to take the responsibility to do something to help them.

We all fall short of God’s standards, and we all need help to be the people that God is creating us to be. That’s what the church is for. The church is not for perfect people – that’s what Heaven’s for! The Church is for people who are in the process of being made perfect. And it’s that process that we need to learn a bit more about this morning. What does this passage teach us about how we can help each other to grow beyond these sorts of problems?

I want to stress that in each of the instructions Paul gives, they have the flavour of coming alongside to do something. In other words, in each case we are being asked to come alongside our Christian brothers and sisters in love. We are being asked to get involved with each other, not to criticize from a distance or ignore each other. We are to care so much for each other that when we see someone affected by one of these problems, we take the initiative to prayerfully get involved. We don’t leave it to the Pastor or to the Elders, we take responsibility to be the sort of church family that God wants us to be.

But how specifically can we deal with each of these different problems?

1) Warn the Unruly

People who are out of ranks need to be warned about the consequences of their actions or their lack of action.

A couple of weeks ago when we addressed the issue of the church’s relationship with its leaders, I mentioned that respecting and submitting to leaders never implies a blind obedience. It doesn’t stifle discussion and debate, or suggest that leaders are infallible.

In a similar way, when we talk about the importance of being in step, we are not talking about everyone having to think the same and act the same. It’s not about conformity, but about order. God is a God of order, not disorder. He does not approve of His church being thrust into chaos because of rebellion or laziness.

The church is meant to be a body which works together for the purposes to which God has called it. We cannot do this if some parts of the body refuse to work in cooperation with the other members. You cannot have different parts of the body pulling in different directions, or just being dead weight.

People who are having this effect on the body need to be warned. That word literally means to “put sense into”. They need people to come alongside them say “I’m worried about the consequences for you and for our church if you continue down this path”. They need someone to listen to them and find out what the issues are. Have they simply grown tired of the effort that they were investing and decided to pull out of involvement? Are they disgruntled because they felt ignored or unvalued? Do they have some doctrinal or other concerns that need to be worked through? Are there issues of unhappiness in their life that are affecting their relationships in the church? Are there personal agendas that need to be exposed?

Whatever the reason for their being out of sync with the church, it must be exposed for what it is and they must be made aware of the danger of continuing down that path. This should be done gently but firmly – the truth spoken in love, so that we may grow up together into Christ (Eph 4:15).

2) Encourage the Timid

Secondly, we must encourage the timid.

To encourage means to come alongside and speak gently in order to build them up. We don’t want to shame them or belittle them further, we want to gently build them up. How do we do that?

Timid people are controlled by fear and doubt. Listen to what Paul says in 2 Corinthians 12:10…

^10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

This is the direct opposite to the way a timid person thinks! The timid person fears weakness, fears insults, fears hardships, persecutions and difficulties. They avoid any action that might lead to them experiencing these things.

What was Paul’s secret? It’s found in the preceding verses:

2 Corinthians 12:7-9

^7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. ^8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. ^9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

Paul had discovered that in his weakness, Christ’s power was made perfect. It was only when Paul was out of his depth that he truly discovered the sufficiency of Christ. The timid person never puts a toe in the water, let alone goes in over his depth! They need to be gently encouraged, bit by bit, out into deeper water.

How do you do this?

The promises of the Bible are a good start. Memorise together the promises of Scripture. Share the stories of the heroes of faith like David and Gideon and Deborah and Noah and Moses and Rahab and Joseph and Mary and so on. Share your own stories of how God has worked in your life. Bit by bit build up the faith that is necessary to grow a person’s soul. We do not want to make people self-confident, but Christ-confident.

With gentle encouragement people can conquer their fears and attempt things they never thought possible and tolerate things that were previously intolerable. They will discover the gifts and calling that God has placed upon their life that they were always to scared to act on, like the servant who buried his talent in the ground because he was afraid to take a risk (Matt 25:14-30). He squandered what His Master had given him, which is exactly what timid people will do unless they are helped to grow in faith.

3) Help the Weak

What is it that the morally weak or the weak in faith need from us? They need our help.

Let’s start with the morally weak. How do we help someone who repeatedly falls into sin? Same as the others that we have looked at so far – we come alongside. For this to happen, there needs to be an openness about sin where we can confess it to one another and help each other through it. If we are all busy pretending to be perfect we will be unable to help one another to get closer to being perfect, closer to being free from the wreckage of sin in our lives.

How do we help? We pray together. We keep accountable to each other – we ring up or meet together and check on each other. We share the biblical principles that can grow our understanding and prepare us for lives of righteousness.

One thing we do not do is make people who are morally weak feel ashamed or inferior. That is what Satan does to try and keep people bound up and frustrated and unable to receive the help they need. That is what Satan does to promote hypocrisy in the church which turns people away from the God who we proclaim but don’t really follow.

One of the most helpful things to me in overcoming some habitual sin in my life was to confess it to others. Instead of staying shamefully silent I discovered that other people identified with my struggles. I felt reassured and supported and encouraged to continue to struggle against my sin. I have also been privileged to share with those who have confessed their hidden sins to me, in order to help them to have the support they needed to overcome what was hindering their walk with God and their work in the church.

Are you willing to help others in their fight with sin, or would you rather not know? Are you willing to receive help?

The Weak in Faith also need help. The help they need takes two forms. Firstly, they need help in the form of sensitivity to their weakness. In Romans and 1 Corinthians we are urged to be sensitive to one another in how our actions affect each other. If something you do causes your brother or sister to sin, don’t do it. Help them by not doing the things that you have a right to do. There can be all sorts of things that cause people to be weak in faith in particular areas. In the early church for example, a common situation was that people who had come out of pagan worship were very sensitive about eating meat that might have been sacrificed to idols. People who came from a background of Judaism could be quite sensitive to matters relating to Old Testament ceremonial law. In both cases, these people did not feel comfortable with things that other Christians were fine with.

It is very possible that in exercising their Christian freedom around such people, other members of the church could in fact have a negative effect on them rather than a helpful effect. Not only might it cause distress to them, but it may also confuse these people as to what was right and wrong, and might lead them to fall into things that they shouldn’t.

Paul says that he would rather give up his personal freedom if it prevents his weaker brothers and sisters from falling in to a trap of sin.

The flip side of that is that we can best help our weaker brothers and sisters by causing them to grow stronger. To always indulge a weak person means that they will stay weak. People with weak faith need to be helped to grow to be stronger in faith. This means specific teaching on their points of weakness. This means gentle encouragement and training. This means developing close spiritual relationships with people of mature faith, rather than people of weak faith sticking together.

However this process must not be rushed. To move too quickly could destroy someone with weak faith. This was very evident during my time at Bible College. There were some subjects that were studied which were quite challenging from the point of view of faith. Some students were not ready for it, and instead of being better equipped and prepared through those units, some were left disillusioned and full of doubt.

In my own experiences as a leader, I am aware of some occasions where I thought people were ready to do certain things that were outside the boundaries of what had been done before, only to find out that they were not all ready. The resulting fallout was very painful. Knowing the best way to help those with weak faith requires a lot of discernment, but the best way to do it is through close involvement.

Conclusion

The command of Scripture today is pretty clear: warn the unruly, encourage the timid, help the weak. None of us are exempt from being unruly, timid or weak. I think most of us spend a little bit of time in each of those camps! Let’s make sure that we are helping each other move out of those situations and in to fullness of God’s intention for us as individuals and as a church.

Are you ready to do that? Are you ready to receive it?

What is a Church?

What is a Church?

When I say that I’m going “to Church”, am I talking about a place, a ceremony or a group of people? For lots of people, “Church” can mean a particular building, something that happens in that building or the group of people who go there.

Think Bigger

“The Church” is much bigger than any particular building, ceremony or group that gathers together. It refers to all Christians of all eras and places. That’s a big group of people!

Little “c” churches

Within the big picture of “The Church”, there are hundreds of thousands (or more) little “c” churches. These are local churches – groups of Christians in the same time and place who meet together to worship God and do all the things the Bible teaches us to do for and with each other. This includes things like learning together, working together, caring for each other, praying together and so on.

Taking my church for example; the Narembeen Church of Christ today is a different church to the Narembeen Church of Christ 10 years ago. It still meets in the same buildings (and many of the same homes), but it is a different church because the people have changed over that time – there are people in the church today who weren’t here 10 years ago; people who aren’t here who used to be; and even those who have been here 10 years and more are different people today than they were 10 years ago. What we do together reflects who we have been, who we are today and who God is creating us to be into the future.

Designed to be Different

Often within groups there is pressure to conform, but churches are designed to be different. Churches are meant to provide an environment for people to be transformed by God from within, not forced to conform to external pressures. The Bible says that God has made us all uniquely, and is continuing to shape those who allow Him to do so. As we come together with our diverse gifts, passions, experiences and so on we find that we are so much better off than if we were all the same. In fact, God even shapes churches by bring people into them and shaping those already there, so that together they can fulfill God’s specific purpose for that church. As each church is different, each church does different things well. We are not rivals, we can appreciate how God works in other churches and support one another in love. The goal is that through our partnership, God will increasingly receive the acclaim that He deserves and more and more people will come to discover real life through faith in Jesus Christ.

Mike Birch

www.ministrywithmike.blogspot.com.au

churchofchrist@narembeen.com

The Pathway to Peace

The Pathway to Peace

1 Thessalonians 5:13b

1/07/07

audio

“Live in peace with each other.” – 1 Thessalonians 5:13b

We all know that peace is a precious and rare commodity in this world. It is something that people long for and strive for but it seems so elusive. Today we are exploring the Bible’s exhortation that we should “live in peace with each other” – what does that mean, and is it really possible?

Living in peace with one another is one of the most attractive aspects of Christian community. However I am concerned that because of a lack of real understanding of what the Bible means when it talks about peace, we have settled for something far less than what God wants for us.

Let’s start off by coming up with a definition for the word “peace”. There are many different ways of thinking about what peace is, so we need to first of all make sure that we are all thinking about the same thing. We’re going to start by briefly looking at how the concept of peace has been understood generally in history, and then we are going to compare that with what the Bible has to say about it. We don’t want to settle for less than God’s intention for us, so we need to find out if what we think of matches up with what God thinks of when He speaks to us about peace.

In the days of the Roman empire, peace (“pax”) was defined as “absentia belli”, which means “the absence of war”. That’s the idea of peace that many people still hold to today. They would go a little further to say the absence of conflict, not just the absence of war.

So if you are going to strive for peace, what you are going to try and do is get rid of all of the sources of conflict within your situation, or you are going to at least try and control those things that cause conflict.

If you are part of a nation divided by ethnicity or religious beliefs for example, you will either try and separate those groups and wall them off from each other so that they cannot get into arguments or violent confrontations; or else you will try and control what those people are allowed to say and do so that opposing groups do not stir one another up or attack one another. That’s why in Australia for example we have things like racial and religious vilification laws. In the Middle East we have Palestinians walled off from Israeli’s for the same reason. This sort of thing happens around the world wherever differences between people lead to conflict.

As strange as it sounds, it even works this way in families. There are often certain subjects that are not allowed to be discussed because they produce conflict. In order for their to be peace in the home, there are unwritten rules about what may or may not be spoken about or done and even sometimes who is welcome and who is not. The presence of some topics, behaviours and even people leads to conflict, so the only way to achieve peace is to either ban or tightly control those things.

That might sound pretty logical, but it actually falls a long way short of what real peace is.

Let’s move on from the Romans to a much more recent time. There have been many people throughout history who have noticed that conflict is not actually the real problem. Peace is more than an absence of conflict, in fact the way to real peace often involves conflict.

The Reverend Martin Luther King Jr. summed up this understanding when he said “True peace is not merely the absence of tension; it is the presence of justice.” For people like Martin Luther King, the real problem is not conflict or tension, but a lack of justice.

Let’s give a really basic example of what that looks like.

Let’s just say that in our church you have to be a landholder in order to cast a vote in any of our meetings. You cannot have a say about who holds positions within the church, how the church utilises it’s resources, how our activities are conducted and so on; unless you belong to the landholders club. Landholders can even determine who may attend weekly gatherings. If you are a landholder, you will probably not feel at all tense or conflicted about the situation, in fact you may feel that it is the wisest course, since landholders are generally more stable and responsible than people who do not own their own properties.

Those who are not landholders either don’t come, or they dare not speak out because they (for some reason) still want to be allowed to attend this church; but there is an injustice that they are keenly aware of. Martin Luther King would say that while there is no visible conflict, there is also no peace. Even for those who feel perfectly content, they are not living in peace with those who are being treated poorly, or in peace with the God who loves all people equally. Peace and justice go together.

What does the Bible have to say about this?

The Bible is actually in agreement with what we have just been talking about, but it goes one step further. The Bible says that peace comes with right relationships. Justice talks about the fact that people should be in right relationship with each other. There should not be any exploitation or discrimination or abuse of any kind within society. However the Bible talks about some other areas of right relationship that are necessary for peace to be a reality.

The Bible uses the word “Righteousness” to describe the ways in which we need to be in right relationship with God and each other. It also describes the fact that peace and righteousness go together…

Psalm 85:10 -

Love and faithfulness meet together;

righteousness and peace kiss each other

Peace comes with…

1) Right Relationship with God’s Person

In John 16:33 Jesus says to His followers:

^33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

Jesus says that even in the midst of our troubles, we can have peace in Him. The way to pursue peace is not to avoid or control conflict, but to pursue a right relationship with Jesus. In right relationship with Jesus is where peace is found. It is through faith in Jesus that we have a right relationship with God the Father and God the Holy Spirit also.

Remember the words of the angels who announced the birth of Christ to the shepherds in Luke 2:14…

“Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace to men on whom His favour rests”

How do you become someone on whom God’s favour rests? Through Jesus!

2 Corinthians 5:18 says “^All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Christ”

But this is not the same as being free from conflict. Remember the idea that society had in Jesus’ day? Most people thought the word peace meant “absentia belli”, the absence of war. This is what Jesus says to these people:

^34 “Do not suppose that I have come to bring peace to the earth. I did not come to bring peace, but a sword. ^35 For I have come to turn

“‘a man against his father,

a daughter against her mother,

a daughter-in-law against her mother-in-law—

^36 a man’s enemies will be the members of his own

household.’

- Matthew 10:34-36

If you are going to be at peace with God, then you may indeed experience great conflict in relationship with others. To be in step with Jesus is to be out of step with the world. You can’t march to 2 different beats at the same time. You will either be out of step with one or out of step with both. Trying to fit with both will mean that you don’t fit with either.

Real peace begins with being in right relationship with God no matter what it costs us in our relationships with others. This is a hard truth for many people to accept. It flows on to another difficult truth. To be in right relationship with God’s Person means to also be in…

2) Right Relationship with God’s Standards

^43 If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out.^{ 45} And if your foot causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life crippled than to have two feet and be thrown into hell. ^{ 47} And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out. It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, ^48 where

“‘their worm does not die,

and the fire is not quenched’

^49 Everyone will be salted with fire.

^50 “Salt is good, but if it loses its saltiness, how can you make it salty again? Have salt in yourselves, and be at peace with each other.”

- Mark 9:43-50

God is very concerned about issues of good and evil, right and wrong. As this passage in Mark demonstrates, our right relationship with God’s standards determines the state of our relationship to God and to each other.

(Now, for those who are a little shocked at the idea of cutting off body parts to escape being thrown into hell, I want you to understand the nature of this teaching. Jesus is using a method common in his culture called ‘hyperbole’, where you paint a very striking picture that will stick in people’s minds so that they will remember your point. The point is that sin is a very serious matter, and we should do everything possible in order to escape the corruption of sin, and the judgement that will follow. Jesus knew that sin does not come from our eyes or hands or feet – it is a part of our very nature. The Bible teaches that it is only God Himself who is able to perform the internal surgery needed to cleanse us from sin).

What do I mean by having a right relationship to God’s standards?

It means being in a position of understanding instead of a position of ignorance. It means being in a position of obedience not a position of disobedience. A position of submission not a position of rebellion.

In regard to the law you are either guilty or not guilty. Whether it’s because of ignorance, a lapse in judgement, an accident or a deliberate choice, if you are guilty then you are guilty. Of course there is always forgiveness in Jesus, but you cannot be at real peace with God, with other people or within yourself if you are not in right relationship with God’s standards.

That means that when you discover that you have sinned, you need to confess that to God and ask for His help to turn that behaviour or attitude around so that it is no longer a part of your life.

There’s a well-known passage in the book of Philippians that deals with the subject of peace…

Philippians 4:4-9

^4 Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! ^5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. ^6 Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. ^7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

^8 Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things. ^9 Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me—put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you.

Notice how the first paragraph is primarily concerned with how we relate to the person of God, while the second paragraph is about how we think and act in accordance with God’s standards. The result of both of these things is that we experience the peace of God.

So the Pathway to Peace is the Road of Righteousness. Being in right relationship to God through our personal relationship with Him and our obedience to His commands is what establishes peace between us. Being in right relationship to God moves us toward right relationship with each other.

Now, let’s get back to our passage (1 Thess. 5:13b)…

“Live in peace with each other.”

Let’s think about how we do this in the light of the principle of righteousness.

1) How does our right relationship with the person of God affect our lives with each other?

There are two obvious answers that are demonstrated time and time again in the New Testament for us.

a) We Will thank God for one another

(eg. Acts 28:15; Romans 1:8; 1 Cor. 1:4; Col. 1:3; 1 Thess 1:2; 2 Tim. 1:3; Philemon 4)

b) We will pray for one another

(eg. Luke 6:28 – pray for those who mistreat you; Luke 22:32 – Jesus prays for Peter’s faith; John 17 – Jesus prays for his disciples and later followers; Romans 15:30 – we join in other’s struggles by praying for them; 3 John 2 – praying for the health of others….)

When God brings us to the point of earnestly thanking Him for one another and praying for one another, that is the point where we begin to experience a real peace that is more than the absence of conflict. There will be a sense of love and belonging and support and loyalty and honesty and enjoyment which will be incredibly attractive to people.

Whenever I see a group of Christians who do not seem to want to be together – a group that seems to have competing cliques within it – that’s where I sense a group of people whose relationship with the person of God is stunted and incomplete. You can’t know God intimately and then not care for other people. All people matter to God.

2) How does our right relationship with the standards of God affect our lives with each other?

Well for a start we won’t murder each other!

The answer to that question becomes really obvious when you read the commands of Scripture.

What would it be like to be a part of a group where people consider the needs of others and not just themselves? What would it be like to have people want to listen to you rather than forcing you to listen to them? What would it be like to not have to worry about being lied to or manipulated or cheated or neglected or discriminated against or gossiped about or slandered or stolen from or bullied?

What would it be like to live in community with others who are genuinely striving to live as God instructs us to live? Are you going to feel at peace in a group like that? You bet!

Do you know how many people are nervous about making mistakes in churches because they worry about what others think of them or say about them? There is a lack of peace because whether for good reasons or bad, people suspect that others will not adhere to the standards of God in relation to how we think and talk about them.

Do you know how many people carry hurts because they feel as though God’s standards have not been lived up to in the way they have been treated by others within the church? That failure in the lives of others in the church is then very often used as an excuse to justify their own disobedience.

Neither of these situations reflect what it is like to live in peace with each other, yet both are true of our church at times. I know this because you have told me so!

When you are feeling as though things in our church family aren’t right, where we are not as close to each other as we should be or there are divisions among us, I want you to remember the two categories that we have been talking about today, and I want you to ask yourself these 2 questions and even recruit some spiritually mature people to help you with them:

1) How can I take this situation to God?

2) What principles has God given me to guide my thoughts and actions?

If we each do this, we will experience what it is like to live in peace with each other. Satan would like to get our attention onto things like:

¯ the nature of our disagreements with people

¯ their behaviour that we disapprove of

¯ conflicting goals that we may have for the church

¯ ways that we feel hurt or rejected

¯ possible hidden motives or agendas

We need to stop that train before it leaves the station!

The Pathway to Peace is the Road of Righteousness. True peace is possible if we learn to ask these 2 simple questions:

1) How can I take this situation to God?

2) What principles has God given me to guide my thoughts and actions?

That’s the road that leads to peace.

I said at the beginning that I am concerned that we settle for less than God’s best when we live by the wrong definition of peace. We often live by the Roman definition instead of by God’s definition.

The result is that we avoid conflict, but to avoid conflict is to avoid growth. God uses difficult situations and inner tensions to cause us to grow. Satan puts difficulty in our path to try to stop us from doing God’s will. Either way, there’s going to be difficulty, just as Jesus promised. There are going to be issues that need to be worked through.

Often when a group is being challenged to change there is a resentment toward those who are causing all the fuss. “Why can’t you just leave us as we are?”

We often don’t realise that these people may well be playing the role of peacemaker. How is that possible when they are stirring up trouble and causing tension? If they are causing the group to be challenged to live in right relationship to God and each other, then they are fulfilling the role of peacemaker.

James 3:18 says:

“Peacemakers who sow in peace raise a harvest of righteousness.”

If we used the Roman definition of peace, that verse would simply not be true. It is only true when we understand God’s idea of peace.

Be at peace. Be a peacemaker. Regardless of what it costs.

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Respecting Spiritual Leaders

Respecting Spiritual Leaders

1 Thessalonians 5:12-13a

24/06/07

audio

Introduction - Final Instructions in the book of 1 Thessalonians.

Paul has just been giving some great teaching on the subject of the coming Kingdom of God and how we should live as we await it’s arrival. In closing his letter he gives a series of exhortations focussing not on people’s knowledge but on their attitudes and behaviours.

There’s some really challenging directions that are contained in this closing section of the book, and as you read it you can stop after every few words and feel convicted about how you are putting or not putting these things into practice in your life.

Let’s read it through together..

1 Thessalonians 5:12-28

^12 Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. ^13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work. Live in peace with each other. ^14 And we urge you, brothers, warn those who are idle, encourage the timid, help the weak, be patient with everyone. ^15 Make sure that nobody pays back wrong for wrong, but always try to be kind to each other and to everyone else.

^16 Be joyful always; ^17 pray continually; ^18 give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.

^19 Do not put out the Spirit’s fire; ^20 do not treat prophecies with contempt. ^21 Test everything. Hold on to the good. ^22 Avoid every kind of evil.

^23 May God himself, the God of peace, sanctify you through and through. May your whole spirit, soul and body be kept blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ. ^24 The one who calls you is faithful and he will do it.

^25 Brothers, pray for us. ^26 Greet all the brothers with a holy kiss. ^27 I charge you before the Lord to have this letter read to all the brothers.

^28 The grace of our Lord Jesus Christ be with you.

Why do you give someone an instruction?

Let me give you an example of what I mean. If you are teaching a group of students, why would you need to instruct them to be quiet?

1) Because they are being noisy

2) Because they are at risk of being noisy

If you have a well trained group of students, you don’t need to tell them to be quiet while you are teaching them, they have learned to do that and are in the habit of doing it.

There are always some kids who feel like the teacher is always picking on them. They are always being instructed or reproved. Why is that? Because they need it! If they were doing the right thing, they would not need to be told to do the right thing.

As Christians, we need to recognise that as long as we are part of a world which is corrupted by sin, we are always either falling short in a particular area or at risk of doing so. We need to be constantly challenged about our attitudes and behaviours. I don’t care if you can recite the Bible in 3 different languages, you still need to hear it again and be refined by it again.

In giving his closing instructions, Paul deals first with the community life of the church – the relationship of Christians to one another. He then goes on to address people’s individual lifestyles.

The first thing about Christian community that Paul addresses is the issue of how people feel and act toward those in leadership.

^12 Now we ask you, brothers, to respect those who work hard among you, who are over you in the Lord and who admonish you. ^13 Hold them in the highest regard in love because of their work.

Why wouldn’t we respect our spiritual leaders? Why do we need to be reminded to do so? I must confess that especially up until my mid-twenties, I found it very easy to have a disrespectful and critical attitude toward leaders and toward others in general. I would hear someone complaining about decisions made or things being done in various places and I would feel quite free in being critical about those things. I would sound very wise in my own ears and in the ears of like-minded people as I talked about principles and passages that seemed to back up my own opinions on the matter.

Then God disciplined me for my arrogance by putting me in leadership. Actually, I’d been involved in leadership from the age of 17 in one form or another. I taught Sunday School and led youth groups from the time that I left high school. But leading a fairly narrow group of people is one thing, trying to lead a diverse group of people is quite another. Things that seem so simple suddenly get very complicated. I now know what it is like to be criticised and complained about. I know how hard it is to be a leader. If you have not experienced it is impossible to describe. But as a leader myself I now regret things that I did in the past that helped others to maintain disrespectful attitudes towards their leaders.

The other thing that God did to correct my pride was to give me opportunities to get to know some of the people who I had previously criticised, or people from groups that I had criticised. As I experienced the bond of the Holy Spirit and our partnership in the Gospel it embarrassed me to remember my attitudes and comments in the past. I recognised that my arrogance masked an ignorance. I spoke of things that I did not really understand, even though it seemed so clear to me at the time.

Just before challenging people about their attitudes to leadership, Paul wrote the following:

Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.

It is a lot easier to tear down than it is to build up. It is easier to criticise someone than to work alongside them. It is easier to complain about someone than to work through your issues with them. It is easier to rebel against authority than to submit to one another.

I want to stress that Christians are never told to blindly follow their leaders. They don’t need to agree with every decision that leaders make. Hebrews 13:17 does remind us to obey our leaders and submit to their authority, but that does not mean that there is not room for discussion and debate where necessary. It doesn’t mean that grievances with leaders should not be dealt with. It certainly is not saying that leaders do not make mistakes.

It is saying that whatever the circumstances, leaders should be held in the highest regard in love because of their work. Leaders should be loved and respected. Is this any different to the way that we should be treating everyone else? No, of course not, but sometimes it is a particular challenge for us to do this with our leaders. Also, the way we demonstrate our love and respect for leaders is different to how we demonstrate it to those who are not in leadership.

I was part of a church once where the leadership as a whole had set a direction and implemented some changes that I didn’t agree with. There were others in the church who were struggling with these changes also, and because they trusted me as a teacher and leader they would often come and share their concerns with me.

It would have been very easy for me to join with them in criticising the decisions and actions being undertaken. It would have made me more popular among certain sections of the group, and we may even have been successful in getting some stuff changed.

What should I do in that situation?

The first thing I needed to do was to care for those people who were sharing with me by listening and showing that I understood their concerns. However to agree with them and criticise the other leaders would neither love them nor the leaders, it would not show respect for the authority of the leaders, and it would also not be fair.

As someone who was a part of the leadership team, I knew very well how hard they worked in their ministry. I knew the prayer and discussion and study that was being invested. I knew their hearts and the desire they had to glorify God and see people reached with the gospel. Those people who shared concerns with me didn’t need my help to feel critical, they needed my help to feel reassured about the integrity of their leaders. They needed my help to understand some of the reasons behind certain changes. They needed my help to know that even if they disagreed, they had a responsibility to continue to love and respect their leaders by what they did and did not do.

What do I mean by that?

Respect and love for leaders means not criticising and undermining their authority, but it also means supporting them in their ministry. That involves praying for them. That involves working together with them in the ministry that God has called you to. You continue to play your part and let them play their part. That can be difficult to do sometimes.

Notice in verse 12 how leaders are described. The first phrase is functional – what they do. They work hard among you. Other passages in the Bible talk about the different aspects of that work, things like teaching, prayer, pastoral oversight and so on. The second phrase is positional – it talks about the position leaders hold in the Church, which is one of authority. Leaders have responsibility and authority – they go hand in hand. You don’t have one without the other. Sometimes churches want to delegate all the responsibility to leaders but not give them the authority that goes with it. Sometimes leaders want authority but don’t want the responsibility of serving others in love. Both are necessary.

I find it interesting though that one particular part of that responsibility and authority package is then highlighted. Leaders admonish. They need to speak sternly to people sometimes! They need to warn people of the consequences of their actions and urge them to heed God’s instruction.

Who here likes being told off? Who likes being told that they have done something wrong? Who likes being told even that they have made a mistake? We all know that we make mistakes, but for some reason we hate it when someone points it out to us. We are competitive – we don’t want anyone to feel superior to us.

How interesting that Paul highlights this part of a leader’s role when exhorting people to love and respect their leaders. He chooses the thing most likely to put people offside and cause them to rebel against leaders, and says “hold the people who have the responsibility and the authority to do this in the highest regard in love because of their work”.

Whenever somebody criticizes, corrects or disagrees with us, our mind automatically shifts into defensive mode. We start thinking of reasons why we should not listen to what they are saying. We look for people who will reassure us that we are right and they are wrong. That’s human nature. That’s why before he started to give correction and rebuke in his letter, James wrote with the wisdom God gave him “My dear brothers, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, ^for man’s anger does not bring about the righteous life that God desires.” (James 1:19-20)

Now, you should know that a leader cops more admonishment than any other member of a church. There is an accountability system within the leadership team whereby leaders are constantly being challenged about decisions, attitudes and behaviours. There are always people with disagreements and disgruntlements that leaders need to listen to and evaluate carefully. Because a leader cannot show favouritism to any particular group, it sometimes seems that he or she cops flak from all directions!

We all need to learn to carefully listen to admonishment, to consider it prayerfully and allow God to refine us. Not everything people say will be accurate. Sometimes leaders misjudge people’s actions and heart motives too. But loving communication, humility of spirit and openness to God should enable us to work these things through.

I don’t have too much of a problem respecting and loving those who I agree with. I don’t mind respecting those who stand against the things I don’t like and stand for the things I do like. But to love and respect someone who even goes as far as correcting me and pointing out errors in my life? That is a bit hard to swallow! But that’s the sort of community that God wants us to be.

A failure among Christians to love and respect their leaders is perhaps the biggest single reason for the emotional burnout of pastors and lay leaders. Certainly among the Pastors I have contact with it is the single most difficult aspect of their ministry.

I want to give you a couple of practical suggestions that I hope will help you as you seek to obey this command of Scripture.

· Work on your love life

You don’t tear down people you care about, so you need to do all you can to develop a real care for your leaders. The Bible says that love covers over a multitude of sins. Have you ever noticed that the sporting team that you care about commits less genuine fouls and plays a lot fairer than the opposition team? Have you ever noticed how you will justify behaviour of someone close to you more than someone you disapprove of? None of us are purely objective – our perception is affected by how we feel about people and our loyalty to them. If we work on our love by getting to know our leaders and praying with them and for them, we will find it much easier to respect them and submit to their authority.

· Grow in knowledge

The word translated “respect” in verse 12 actually means “to know”. In other words, we should understand and appreciate the work that leaders do for our sakes. It is easy to make judgements in ignorance, and we cannot all be involved to the same degree in the work of leadership. But by talking with leaders and taking the time to notice what they do, you gain an appreciation for them and the ministry God has called them to. Where there are disagreements or concerns, share them openly and be prepared to listen with an open heart and mind to the response. Often, when you have taken the effort to get to know leaders well and develop a real care for them, you are content to disagree with certain things because you trust the integrity and the calling of the ones God has given that responsibility to.

Don’t be someone that tears down the church or its leaders. Be someone who builds up.