Building Better Marriages
The Importance of Deadlines
It’s been a pretty busy couple of months in our house, and not much has been happening on the gardening front. Last week something happened to change that - Tidy Towns judging! Tuesday was T.T-Day, and we knew that as patriotic Narembeenites that we needed to have the place spruced up by then. Monday saw us finally get stuck into hoeing, raking, weeding, planting, pruning, mowing and sweeping in an effort to meet the deadline. Now we enjoy the fact that we’ve got the place looking a lot nicer than it was. We just needed a deadline to force us to make it a priority and get it done.
Have you ever wondered why it’s called a deadline? It become a popular term in the newspaper business in the 1920’s to mean the time that a story had to be in by in order to be printed. If it was not submitted on time, your story was dead. It probably originated though during the American Civil War as the name given to the line that prisoners in prison camps could not cross without being shot.
Sometimes in life there are very clear deadlines, but a lot of times we can let some important things slide because we don’t have a deadline that forces us into action.
What are some things that are important to you in your marriage? What are some things that haven’t been going so well that could use some attention? What are some things that would bring you closer together? What would help you be better parents/grandparents? What issues tend to come up repeatedly that haven’t been properly worked out?
I’ve got to admit, we worked pretty hard on Monday to meet our garden deadline, but we knew that it was worth the effort. Improving a marriage can be hard work – it can also be a lot of fun. Sometimes we put off things that are difficult, but then we never reap the rewards that come from doing them. As a result marriage does not provide us with the fulfilment that it should, conflicts can remain unresolved and bitterness, disappointment and apathy set it.
What sort of deadlines would most help your marriage? Some examples might be: “We will spend a romantic weekend away together before harvest starts”
“We’re going to sit down and talk about _____________ by the end of the month”
(It’s better to plan a definite time to talk about important things when you will both be ready to concentrate.)
Of course, the real challenge then is to actually make sure that you meet your own deadlines. Make a date and time and stick with it.
Don’t settle for a mediocre marriage. Don’t rip off your spouse by taking your relationship for granted. It takes work, so set your deadlines and make sure you get it done!
Mike Birch
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